LifeLessons101: Evil Neighbors

Good morning, good afternoon and good evening, class! Wherever you are in the world, students, today, we are going to focus on a new set of specimens: neighbors.

 

neighbors1

 

In religious and academic teachings, we are taught that neighbors should be treated well.

There are neighbors who deserve what are in the teachings. The traits of these specimens are: quiet, neat and they make sure that they don’t disturb you. But there are also neighbors who seem to have been manufactured in hell. We are going to focus on these specimens.

We will not study the kind of evil neighbors who tell the whole neighborhood how you fought with your boyfriend last night. We’re going to study the the kind of incurably criminal neighbors who stalk you 24/7 and do all sorts of premeditated things.

If you are rich, fine. You can move to a better place. But many of us have to do nerve-wracking work for some months until we can afford a better place. People like us live in little apartments with thin, wooden walls and thin, wooden floors. These types of living spaces offer nowhere for hiding from noise. And our landlords hate complaints, even when the complaints are about the noisy neighbors.

If you are one of us, how can you maintain your peace of mind within these “some months”?

Note: Talking to these types won’t do. You’re lucky if they’ll just yell at you, because they are usually violent. Worse, they’ll say that you are the one who attacked them. So DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

Do this one instead:

Meditation
1. Before going to sleep, sit down.

2. Relax.

3. Focus on your breathing.

4. If there are things that keep your attention from your own breathing, accept their presence into your consciousness. And then focus on your breathing again.

5. Focus on your breathing until you achieve inner peace.

Too bad for us, though, these types of neighbors won’t let us get better.

These neighbors stalk you to the bank. They climb to your window at midnight. They block alleys and won’t let you pass. They make holes on their roof and tell everyone that your cats – the cats that you love so much – created the hole. They pick a fight with you when you’re concentrating on something. And they whack the wall with a hammer while you sleep. Now that you know what kind of menace you have to face, here are the pointers for the upcoming exam.

The pointers are arranged from hardest to easiest. But I have to warn you.

 

neighbors2

 

neighbors3

 

The easiest way has the least effect on the subjects and can get you in big trouble.

  1. Forgive them. Force yourself to understand why they hate you. (Ex.: You have a job and they currently don’t. They’re jealous. So they disturb you in your sleep so you won’t be able to do your job very well the next day. They wish that you’ll get fired.) Learn to pity them. Understand that if you forgive them, you will lead a righteous life that will improve and someday, you’ll be able to peacefully buy a house in the mountains. The mountains, far away from all neighbors.
  2. Shut them out of your thoughts. It’s like walking along a street with lots of huge holes. You have to jump past each hole to keep yourself from falling. No matter how much they yell or whack your wall, force your mind to focus on something nicer, like the conversation that you had with an awesome person at school today.
  3. Cover your ears. Cottons and pillows don’t work; the noise still gets through. Curl up, raise your arms and cover your ears with your forearms. They’ll sound like they’re a block away.
  4. Yell at them to shut up.
  5. Wake up, get your pillow and hit the wall with the pillow.

I advice you to do #1. It is the safest and most effective solution.

And that’s it for today, class. Exam is when you move into one of these apartments. Have a nice day!

Author’s note: I was studying Neuroscience from HarvardX while bearing with weird neighbors when I wrote this. I was fascinated at the way the professor and his team taught a very complex subject like Neuroscience in a way that was very easy to understand. That inspired me to fashion my article after a run-of-the-mill academic lesson. Even though based on a true story and the tips are somewhat effective, some of the words are intentionally made to sound silly to lighten up the mood. But if your neighbors are seriously criminal, this is my recommended read: How to Deal with Bad Neighbors.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s